Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Torture thy name is Burpee

The Burpee as described by

1. Start in a push up position.
2. Do one push up.
3. Quickly jump feet forward to a squatting position.
4. Jump high into the air, bringing up your knees to your chest and raising your hands above your head.
5. Land with feet together on the balls of your feet.
6. Drop back to a squat.
7. Jump feet back to a push up position.
8. Repeat many times.

The Burpee according to Heather:

4. Repeat many times.

And since I've fallen off the wagon anyway, I might as well make it worth my while before I get any more brilliant excercise ideas.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The one where I feel guilty (and husky) about all the calories consumed during Christmas.

So it's a new year. I don't think I have come down off my month-long sugar binge yet. Seriously, I start to get the shakes if I go too many minutes between bites of shortbread or buttertarts, or chocolate, or gingerbread or soft, chewy, melt-in-your-mouth, homemade toffee....oh the toffee...

New Year.

Right. It's a new year so it's time to renew my commitment to eat less and move more. Less cookies, less chocolate, less full-fat Starbucks, less late-night snacks, less nap-time indulgences, less bed-time rewards. More discipline, more fitness, more running up and down my second story stairs. Sigh. I'm going through withdrawls just thinking about it. But I have to do something. If not for the sake of my heart and being heart-healthy at least for the sake of my muffin top. Skinny jeans and muffin top? Oh no you di-in't.

I have considered various ways to get the "move more" part incorporated into my life. But being slothful and lazy is surprisingly not conducive with moving more. Talking to Hugh about this dilemma he suggested a gym pass. Yeah. I'm not going to lie. That is 100% not going to happen. I'm not even going to pretend I'm motivated enough to get up and be at a gym at 6am. What I'm really looking for is something that will make me healthy (and thin) with little or no apparent effort. Any suggestions?

I have a good friend who is the queen of the cleanse. I mean she could probably write a book about the pros, cons and results of 4o or 50 different cleanses and I am feeling so sugar-puffy right now that I actually considered doing one. For about a minute. But let's get real here. I did not obtain this muffin-top by denying myself.

Then of course there is the whole cross-fitness movement where the theory is you don't need a gym to get in shape you just use what is in your environment. Example. You take your kids to the park and you run while they bike or you do lunges while you walk there then you do tricep dips off the bench and pull-ups on the monkey bars and burpees on the grass, etc. Which is great in theory. Except A) Do you realize how stupid you feel struggling to use muscles that have not existed since Grade 10 gym class and do a pull-up on shoulder-height monkey bars while the other moms are chatting and sipping lattes? And B) How do you have time to do more than one dip at a time between the nose-wiping, the swing-pushing, the slide-catching, the owie-kissing, the fight-refereeing and the peeing on of the trees? And C) Have you done a burpee recently? I don't think I've done one since Grade 1o gym class (thank you Mrs. Howard for those wonderful memories). Until today that is. Because I have a new get fit strategy.

Heidi told me about this guy in our town who runs a Cross-fit program of some kind and who has issued something he calls The Burpee Challenge. Day 1 - do one burpee. Day 2 - do two burpees. Day 3 - three burpees and so on and so forth, you start slow, you ease into all that fitness and healthiness. This works for me. I can still indulge in my slothful ways but I can justify it because I'm slowly building up the number of burpees I'm doing in a day and therefore building up to being fit. Although somehow I can't really imagine the three month mark. I wonder if there's a "start over" after a certain number of days?

Anyway, today was Day 1. I popped a piece of toffee in my mouth - What? The bag was open on the counter and I had to close it - dropped and did a burpee. It was pretty awesome. I didn't even pee my pants like I thought I would. (It's a lot of things to keep tense so you don't fall on your face, you know?) Then I got myself a glass of water because it's important to stay hydrated, and now I'm sitting on the couch feeling pretty darn good about myself. Fitness and thinness are within my grasp. Yep. This could be it. This could be the answer I've been looking for.

I'll let you know in three months.