Monday, July 30, 2007

Noon is the new 5:00

Yesterday I told Ava not to throw her toys because it's not a nice way to treat her things.

"Oh mommy," she says, "You're so cute!"

And I could almost hear the thoughts behind her words "oh mommy it's so cute how you think you can tell me what to do and that I'll actually listen."

Up till now Tristan has been our strong-willed child extraordinaire. Recently I think he and Ava decided to run a contest to see who can break me first. But I have formulated a plan of survival to keep myself from prematurely greying.

Move cocktail hour to noon.

Monday, July 23, 2007

You can do it. I'll be helping.

So I've gotten myself a job. Because that's something every 7 month pregnant woman with two kids at home is looking for right? Let me tell you the story.

I got a phone call out of the blue last Tuesday from a guy named James wondering if I was interested in a job being a decorating consultant for the Home Depot in Medicine Hat. Completely random. Now I know that pregnancy makes you forgetful but I'm pretty sure I would remember if I had applied for a job. I called him to get some details and he informed me that he had gotten my name from a friend of mine who used to do decorating and still had her ad in the yellow pages. He cold called her and she passed my name to him since she's now a nursing student and no longer in the decorating biz. He also said he was planning to be in Medicine Hat on Friday if I was interested in an interview. As I said before I was definitely not looking for a job 2 months away from giving birth but I was curious and it meant a free coffee for me at Starbucks which is part of my core values never to turn down.

So he interviewed me and at the end of the interview said that he was planning on setting up another interview for the Medicine Hat store but that he was so impressed with me that if I was interested he would offer me the job right then and there. (Pat on the back for me.) "Obviously," he said, while eyeing my largely protruding mid-section, "you'll want a bit of time to think about it." I promised I would have an answer for him on Saturday and he left me a number to call while he moved on to some BC stores.

So here's the breakdown of the job. Home Depot has been working on setting up consultants in every store across Canada and they're going to launch this new service in September. They have contracted a company called 3D Interior Fashions to provide this service and hire the consultants. I believe you will be able to request a consultant either in the store or online. 3DIF gives their consultants a computer that you check daily to see if there has been any requests for you and it is the decorator's responsibility to contact the clients within 48 hours of their request to set up an at-home or in-store consultation at both the client and decorators convenience. (Lot's of flexibility. That's a plus for me.) Plus they provide you with all your sample books and business cards and a space within the Home Depot store to use as an office. Essentially it is like running your own business through the store. They also require that you spend a minimum of 8 hours a week in the store building relationships with the Home Depot associates and generating leads.

I felt like like this job would be perfect in so many ways except for the timing. I'm having a baby in 2 months! That's when most people quit working not start a new business. And we did not decide to have another baby just so I could go to work. I want to be home with this baby and give this baby as much focus and attention as I gave to Tristan and Ava. Anyway after much debate, dilemma and tears (I am pregnant after all!) and a completely sleepless Friday night I decided I would be willing to try this out on 2 conditions. 1). If they could give me 2 months after the baby is born to be completely hands off, sort of a mini maternity leave and 2). If I did not have to spend anytime in the store after the baby is born until such a time as I feel up to it.

I called James on Saturday and he answered with "do you have good news for me?" I told him I was interested and I outlined my concerns and conditions for saying yes. I fully expected him to say "thank you for thinking about this and we'll keep you on file if we need more consultants in the future." To my complete and utter suprise he said yes with no hesitation to both conditions AND thanked me for being willing to give the job a try. Nice ego boost for me.

So it looks like I have a job. I think. I can't actually wrap my brain around it right now and although James told me to expect a phone call from Head Office early this week I keep feeling like I'm going to get a call, "we've decided to go for someone less...pregnant."

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

How Treehouse is ruining my life

My kids are watching Max and Ruby on Treehouse right now so I thought I'd take this little moment to rant about how much I absolutely detest Ruby.

For those of you not stay-at-home-moms (DJ & Erin) Max and Ruby are siblings and the basic premise of the show is that mischevious Max (3 years old) is always getting into things and "ruining" what Ruby (aged 7) wants to do but then sometimes ends up making it better. Ruby is a paragon of virtue and patience and very responsible and I suppose is a good role model of an older sibling. Blah. Blah. Blah. Frankly I find her longsuffering sigh and "Oh Max" extremely irritating. Max is an annoying little brat that never listens.

I saw one episode where Ruby was putting Max to bed. She got his jammies on, tucked him in and then went to her room, crawled into her own bed and started to say an individual "Good night!" to each of the zillions of dolls and animals lining her bed. She was interrupted in the "Good night's" by Max who had up-ended the fishbowl in his room and got soaked. So she changed his jammies, tucked him in and then went to her room and crawled into her own bed and restarted all the "Good nights". This same scenario played out through about 6 changes of Max's pj's until he finally fell asleep.

By the time Ruby had started to say, for the 6th time, "Good night Lilly. Good night Horsey. Good night Molly doll...." my neck had developed a small tic and my left eyelid was twitching uncontrollably. Have I mentioned that Ruby's voice drives me up one wall down the other and off the sanity bridge into crazy river?

Other episodes have included Max wrecking Ruby's play time with her friends, Max needing to wear a raincoat in order to play outside in the rain but taking it off and running outside everytime Ruby turns her back, Max sabatoging Ruby's attempts to get badges for the bunnies world of Brownies or Girl Scouts. Etcetera. Etcetera.

I think part of what makes Ruby so irritating is her neverending patience. When Max has taken off his raincoat for the 10 zillionth time she just "tsks" and says "now Max if we want to go outside in the rain we have to wear a raincoat." It makes me want to punch her in her stupid bunny mouth. A more realistic response would be"I SAID LEAVE YOUR FRIGGING RAINCOAT ON!"

On the other hand why is this Ruby's responsibility? Where the heck are the parents of this little bunny family? Why does Ruby put Max to bed? Why does Ruby keep Max from dying of pneumonia in the rain. WHY DOES 7 YEAR OLD RUBY MAKE THE TURKEY DINNER FOR THANKSGIVING? Someone should seriously call Social Services.

So I'm done ranting now. I've gotten completely enraged and irritated over a 20 minute show about cartoon bunnies. I may need to get out more. Just a thought.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

A blogging re-birth

Well it's been ages since I've posted anything. I blame Facebook. And I'm not even on it! Conscientious objector that I am I refuse to succumb to the Facebook pressure but it does sort of feel like blogging is dying because of Facebook.

So here's a recap of May and June:

*We've put in our lawn and this weekend Hugh has been building our fence. This is another moment where I feel like we're play-acting being adults. Okay you be the dad and build things with tools and I'll be the mom and keep the kids out of the way and make you things in my easy-bake oven. It's very surreal and I keep waiting to wake up to "real life"...whatever that may be.

*Since moving to Medicine Hat I have developed seasonal allergies. Last year I thought I caught a cold but eventually started taking Reactine and living life again. This year, because I'm pregnant, I can only take Benadryl which totally knocks me out. I discovered this one morning after taking one first thing and then spending the rest of the morning lying on the couch feeling like I had just been on a week-long bender. Every so often Tristan would lean over and say "mommy are you all done sleeping now? Can you not close your eyes anymore?" And honestly, it felt like my eyes had been glued shut so I mumbled something about "mommy's eyes being tired and needing a rest" and seriously prayed that the kids would not burn down the house while my eyes were closed or fry their brains with all television being watched.

So I've learned I can only take the Benadryl at night. It helps me sleep which is nice but I still spend all of everyday blowing my nose, rubbing my itchy, swollen eyes, feeling like my head is stuck in a cloud and seriously wanting to take a bottle cleaning brush and stick it down my throat because it's so itches SO MUCH that I'm almost developing a tick.

*Hugh has been working tons of overtime in the last month and a half. As a result, my kids have developed a love of Starbucks as I've been forced to cope with all the unrelieved alone time with the kids by rewarding myself with copious amounts of sugary, liquid-candy coffee drinks. The sugar high just helps you know? Typically I go through the drive-through where my kids always ask if they can get "fries and burger". On a side note: the only craving I've had this pregnancy, besides all things sugar-laden, is McDonald's fries.

One day to kill more time I told the kids we were going to Starbucks. No response. We got into the coffee shop and Ava stopped and looked around and then shouted excitedly "this is where mommy and daddy lovin' coffee!" Oh yes it is. The kids split a Strawberries and Cream Frap and are now officially hooked. The other day Tristan was in time out and he yelled "ALL DONE! Can we go to Starbucks?" Sorry son it's only mommy who gets to use food as a coping mechanism.