putting the "fart" back in artsy-fartsy

Let's talk about crafts for a minute.

I consider myself fairly creative but not necessarily craft-y. My friend Michelle could do seminars on scrapbooking, makes her own Christmas cards and is a whiz with an embosser.

I embossed something once. I didn't so much melt the glitter as light the paper on fire.

Apparently my kids aren't so much into the crafts either.

We go to a structured play group every Wednesday (as opposed to the free-for-all that is the multiples playdate on Thursdays). It starts with a little song and then we sit at mini tables for craft-time. This week the kids were given glitter pens to squeeze onto paper plates. First Tristan tried to eat it, then he spent the rest of craft-time playing with the glitter pen; lid on, lid off, lid on, lid off. Ava let me squeeze some on her plate but wouldn't touch it preferring to name the colours of the glitter pens on the table. How funny, they were all purple!

The week before it was finger-painting. Well that didn't go over well with my uber fastidious kids. One of the play group moderators put Tristan's hand in the blob of paint and smeared it on his paper. The look on his face reminded me of those girls in horror movies who've just realized the "kindly neighbour" is actually the axe murder. "ah, Ah, AH" he said, the decibels rising with each word.

After much encouragement I managed to convince Ava that dipping her finger into the itty-bitty-est amount of paint would not be fatal she managed to make a mark on her paper about the size of a pin head. I tried to show by example just how fun finger-painting could be. They totally didn't buy it but I discovered that I am a finger-painter extraordinaire. My artwork was fridge-worthy.

The week before finger-painting was pumpkin decorating. This should have been better. No messy paint. No sticky glitter. Just stickers and markers. First Tristan tried to bite into the pumpkin and after realizing it didn't taste very good my kids sat the entire craft time staring at their mini pumpkins. Do you want a sticker? "NO! NO! NO!" I guess that was a pretty offensive question. How dare I think they would defile their pumpkins with markers and *gasp* stickers!

I should have known how it would be from the very first week. I dipped a sponge into paint, handed it to Tristan and he promptly put it in his mouth. (Did I mention that Tristan has a slight oral fixation?) Ava picked up the sponge with her thumb and first finger, her nose crinkled like she had just smelled a dirty diaper, and let it dangle over her paper for a moment before disdainfully letting it go. That sponge did not get picked up again.

Maybe they'll be good at sports...