Happy Birthday Babies!

Tristan and Ava,

I can hardly believe that it’s been two years since you were born. I remember being excited to leave the hospital and begin “ordinary” life with you. As if life would ever be ordinary again. I cried all the way home from the hospital. I had gone into the hospital as a wife and an independant woman during the first week of September. It was still blue sky, beach weather. I came out a week later, the leaves had turned, it was Fall, and I was a mother. We were a family.

There have been days where I have wondered if I’m going to make it. There have been days I’ve wondered if you are going to make it and survive my mothering. There have been days of teething and days of fever and days of sheer exhaustion. But to look in on you at night, to walk into a room thick with the sweet scent of baby and see your faces flushed with sweet dreams…There are no words for the piercing pain that flashes through my heart. I love you so much it hurts.

This is not to say that the days are all bad. It’s just that when you’re sleeping you’re quiet. We joke that we have two favourite times in our house: naptime and bedtime.

Really I think our favourite part of the day is walking into your room to get you first thing in the morning. As soon as we walk into the room you both start cheering and jumping like maniacs in your crib. Tristan shouts “yay, yay, yay!” and Ava claps and exclaims “oh mama! oh daddy-o!” And then we spend the next five minutes gathering up the menagerie in your cribs to take downstairs. Why you have to bring teeny puppy, puppy, elo, duck, pony, other duck, oh teddy! and a book downstairs where you have more animals and books, I’m not sure. Maybe you're just trying to see how much you can get away with.

Ava you are talking so much. And I mean SO much. I don't think you ever stop. You are definitely your mother's daughter. You like naming things and until we respond you keep repeating it, "teddy, teddy, teddy, teddy, teddy, teddy." Yes Ava that's a teddy. "Bawoot, bawoot, bawoot, bawoot, bawoot." Yes Ava that's a balloon. You have a current obsession with flags and the other day when we were in the car we drove down a street that could be considered a flag mecca. "fwags, fwags, fwags,fwags." No response from us parents. "Fwags! Fwags! Fwags! Fwags!" Still no response from us. Finally, clawing at your face and then clutching at your shirt as if to steady yourself, "FWAAAAAAAGGSS!!! Yes Ava that's a flag.

Tristan you like to have things named for you and spend a lot of your day asking "Ga ah, ah, ah, ah? Which loosely translated means hey what the heck is this thing? Sometimes the ah ah's go on for quite a while "Ga, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah?" Sometimes, about halfway through, you lose your breath and though no sound is being emitted your mouth keeps moving until you gasp and continue, "ah, ah, ah, ah, ah?"
You're starting to put two words together, your favourite combination being "uh-oh!" We hear that about 13,000 times a day. Your newest combo is "help me". Or in Tristan speak "hep-m".

I love watching you interact with each other. I think it's so strange that you have never known life without each other. Tristan you are so sweet to your sister bringing her her blanket or a favourite teddy. Lately you've started giving Ava random kisses. My heart almost bursts everytime I see you display such spontaneous affection. Ava you love to roughhouse with your brother and you spend a lot of time barrelling into him or throwing yourself on him and then giggling like crazy. My favourite is when you chase each other up and down the hall taking turns being the chaser and the chasee.

Ava I love how you add the word "oh!" in front of so many of your sayings. "Oh, silly songs! Oh, milk!" It sounds so much more exciting than plain old silly songs or milk. I hope you never lose that wonder and delight. I promise we will always believe in fairies.

Tristan I love how you like to cuddle during Baby Einstein. I love the feel of your baby weight against my chest as you burrow in and get snuggled. I love how your eyes light up when you see us when we get you after church from the nursery. You run towards us with arms outstretched yelling "yay, yay, yay!" You make us feel so special and important and loved. I hope we will always be able to do the same for you.

Ava I pray that your wide-eyed enthusiasm would never be dampened. I pray that you would continue to embrace life and live it to the full. I pray that your faith would be adventurous and you would live out the truth of a God who is good but not safe. I pray that you would always be able to find the humour in life.

Tristan I pray that the dreamer in you would be nurtured and that you would dream God dreams. I pray that your stubborness and singlemindedness would be translated into a faith unswerving and unshakeable. I pray that your sweet spirit would never be embittered and that you would always hope, always believe and always trust. I pray that you would have the strength and determination to be who you are and carve out your own path.

These last two years have been filled with every emotion nameable but I wouldn't trade a moment of it. Well, I would probably trade some of the teething days and maybe some of the sleepless nights. I'd definitely trade the days that you were both puking your guts out after your dad and I had both been up all night puking our own guts out. But I wouldn't trade any of the other moments.

Thank you for being in our lives. Thank you for being such amazing individuals. Thank you for being the kindest, funniest, smartest, best looking kids alive!

Happy Birthday Tris & Aia! 2 is going to be fabulous!

I love you,

Mama.

"You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore... but let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you." ~Khalil Gibran