Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I wrote a story about today. But now it's after midnight so technically I wrote about yesterday. But I haven't gone to sleep yet so it's still my today. Time is weird.

I spent two hour hours in the grocery store today.  Oh yes, you did indeed hear me right.  I said two hours.  In a grocery store.  Through lunchtime.  With my two six-year-olds and my three-year-old.  How do you define fun? 

I really dislike grocery shopping at the best of times.  If I was given the choice between grocery shopping or cleaning up my child's vomit.  I would choose the vomit.  For one thing it doesn't happen very often and for another thing I only have to touch the puke once as opposed to the four times I have to handle each grocery item (into the cart, onto the belt, into a bag, out of the bag).  I try to spend as little time as possible in a grocery store so when I go I am super organized. I menu plan two weeks of meals and then write out my grocery list in the order I will hit the aisles at the grocery store to streamline the whole experience.  Our big President's Choice store is undergoing a massive renovation and they're staying open for the duration. What this means is that my list is basically worthless because nothing is in the same place from one week to the next.  I spent half my time today back-tracking because the olives this week are in the same aisle as the bleach.  And the spaghetti noodles are with the Indian spices which is not where I found the Japanese bread crumbs.  And why did I not check the chocolate and popcorn aisle for toilet paper?  What was I thinking???

Normally grocery shopping takes me an hour and a half, 40 minutes of that is driving to and from the store.  I knew when I left at 10:30am this morning I was pushing it, that we would probably run into lunch, so I was prepared.  I had water bottles filled in a bag for the inevitable, I'm SOOO thirsty.  The kids had each just had a piece of fruit and I let them take a mini bag of chips out of their Halloween stash to eat in the car along the way avoiding the inevitable, I'm SOOO hungry.  Plus I was keeping the free bakery cookie in my back pocket in case I got desperate.  I was SOOO ready.

I made two quick stops before hitting the grocery store so we didn't actually get inside until 11:30am.  It was 1:30pm when I was pulling out of the parking lot to head home.  Near the end I finally had to ask where the toilet paper was and the lady I asked ended up being an absolute Godsend.  Seriously.  In a place that is not exactly known for their costumer service she was a downright miracle.  She stayed with me and helped me find the last six items on my list, held my kids' hands down the aisles, played games with them to find the things we were looking for and then rewarded them with cinnamon hearts when we found them.  Chips, cookies and then cinnamon hearts... I was past the point of caring about sugar and just grateful my kids were getting lunch!  She leaned over at one point and asked in a whisper if I knew about their free cookie program.  "Oh yeah," I said. "It's just that we've been wandering these aisles for so long we've already been there and eaten that!" While I was putting my groceries on the belt at the checkout she took my kids to get one more cookie and then... And then? you say. I know. You're thinking how could this woman get any more awesome?  Well... and then she kept them corralled and entertained while I was bagging. 

!!!!!   

I swear I heard the angels singing in sweet sweet relief.  It sounded an awful lot like the Hallelujah Chorus actually.  I don't know if you shop somewhere where you have to bag your own groceries but this is always where my kids get possessed by the spirit of wild animals and they start climbing up things and throwing candy on the floor and pushing each other. I end up taking three times longer to bag my groceries because I'm trying to yell at my kids quietly, but firmly enough to make them listen, out of one corner of my mouth, while seeming charming and gracious under pressure out of the other side, and feeling so agitated I can't think straight and sweating so much I could swim down my own back.  How do you define fun?

I had actually planned to grocery shop yesterday while everyone was in school but the big kids really like it when I help out in their class so I did that instead.  Groceries were getting dire.  We were completely out of bread and didn't even have enough milk left for cereal never mind my morning cuppa.  So not only did I spend two solid hours inside the hated grocery store, I DID IT WITHOUT CAFFEINE.  Mama stopped at Starbucks on the way home to get her own treat!

Well, that's another grocery shopping trip down.  I'm done.  At least till next week when I'll have to get more bread and milk and fruit.  I did have a little revelation today at the grocery store but that's a post for another day.  For today, please tell me, am I alone?  Do you hate grocery shopping too?   Or do you love it because shopping is shopping no matter what kind? 

(That last line sounds very Suessical don't you think? A Who is a Who no matter how small? ... Someone? ...  Anyone?)

8 comments:

  1. Grocery shopping is great, without kids. I used to do all the shopping while I lived at home with my mom. It was like a little retreat in to an 'adult world'.
    Now, that I have two kids... well... in America and England you can buy beer at the same place you buy diapers so I think they might be on to something.

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  2. 2 hours shopping with kids sounds like something they should inflict on the prisoners at guantanamo bay

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  3. I could spend hours in the grocery store prior to moving here: Since moving here mackinley turning 2 before she was 2 it was fine BUT now she insists on pushing the cart which she is too short to reach the handles so her steering is totally off and we are constantly avoiding knocking over displays of pickles and the like. Another reason why I don't enjoy grocery shopping now that we live here is due to the fact that stock and supply is always low and lacking. PLUS the outrageous prices of things it makes my dutch frugal side cringe!
    Glad you made it through and PTL for that angel to help you out in your time of need. :)

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  4. Oh I am sure I know of said lady! I have been avoiding that place and well finally had to go and well she hunted high and low and made notes and such about products they had and now do not! (Poor Meli and her poor lunches!)

    I do not will not if my life depends on it shop with anyone!!!! if I do then about 10 seconds in I want to stab my eyes out!

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  5. I don't have kids but have ALWAYS hated grocery shopping as I am TERRIBLE at looking for things. Huge stores like department stores and grocery stores overwhelm me. But then I moved to California and discovered weekly, early morning trips to Trader Joe's. OH MY WORD. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live in a city/town without it anymore. It's small, beautiful, uber-friendly, mostly organic, CHEAP, and doesn't have an overwhelming amount of options--just enough to make meals interesting. (Honestly when the food is so good and most of it doesn't contain additives or preservatives, I could care less if they don't have 54 types of salad dressings.) They also have free samples to try and yes, because it's in the US, alcohol for purchase! AND, between TJ's and the farmer's market I no longer have to rely on big box grocery stores anymore which gives me some sort of smug satisfaction deep down inside. I now officially like grocery shopping!

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  6. Oh my goodness Jaime!! That kind of shopping would be a dream...

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  7. You are not alone in your hatred for grocery shopping! I Hate it too! Shopping for groceries is definately not like shopping for shoes, not all shopping is equal.
    I like to have my list written in the order that the isles are layed out too, but we recently had our superstore rearrange everything as well and I'm still backtracking to find items every time.
    I can identify with the sweat pouring down my back as I bag my groceries. I always feel a little like a crazy lady trying to race the cashier to get the stuff off the belt as fast as she rings it through (she Always wins). Trying to keep a squirming 14month from falling out of the shopping cart and a bored 3 yr old from pushing her little sister out of the cart because she doesn't want to be touched.
    I did my shopping today and we all survived, so I'll be good for another week. Yeah

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  8. I have to say that I don't mind grocery shopping...alone. With kids well that's a whole other story, actually it's your story. ha! I so understand your looking gracious under pressure thing. I now try to go grocery shopping in the evenings or first things Saturday morning. But I still can't escape Carson love of going to Costco AS A FAMILY! *shudder*

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