Not exactly Zen

I've been reading a book by Geneen Roth called, "Women Food And God".  Near the end of the book Roth recounts the story of when Mahatma Gandhi was shot and the first words out of his mouth were a Hindu name for an incarnation of God, "Ram, Ram".  She compared this to what we in North America first say when faced with a difficult situation like a car crash, a crisis, a death, or anything unpleasant, "Oh Sh*t!" She calls it our North American Mantra. I'd never really thought about my first response in those kinds of situations before and I wondered if I fell into the "oh sh*t!" category too.  I didn't have to wonder long.

Yesterday I was driving home after picking the kids up at school and I was approaching a red light.  I wasn't going fast (I swear!) and I was well back from the car ahead of me as I applied the brakes. Unfortunately when I pressed the brakes I didn't slow down, I slid.  My van started picking up speed.  I could feel my ABS trying to kick in but there was nothing to grab hold of.  We slid about four or five carlengths and the back of the car ahead of us was getting closer in a hurry.  There wasn't even a snowbank I could drive into because it was a residential area and parked cars lined the street.   It was dead silent in the van.  I turned my head to the right to brace for impact as an "OH SH*T!" involuntarily escaped out of my mouth.  A split second later I saw a gap between two parked cars.  I drove straight into it.  In the end I had avoided collision by about one metre.  As I tried to collect myself I thought, well I guess that answers that question...

Besides being shaky for the rest of the drive home I kept expecting my kids to comment on my swearing like, "Mom!  You just said a bad word!" but they continued chatting happily like nothing had happened.  I decided the lack of reaction was because they have no idea what a "bad word" is.  They're not exactly exposed to them at home after all.  Well, not usually.  Since they didn't know what I said I decided not to talk about it figuring if I don't make a big deal about it they'll just forget I ever said it.  Which I felt good about until a few hours later when Ava was walking downstairs with an armful of toys and I heard the thump-thump-thump-thump sound of toys rolling down the stairs and a very annoyed, "oh sh*t". 

Did I just induct her into that category?  Apparently I have a lot more meditation to do.